Breakup Advice: What Exactly Is Closure?
There is a common belief that you can’t go forward until there is closure of the old relationship. So is closure a must? I feel the answer is unique to each individual. Some people never really reach what is viewed as closure, and still are able to go on to be successful at relationships.
So what is closure anyway? Is it that ah-ha moment when you all of a sudden wish the best for your ex and have no ill will? And is it absolutely necessary to be able to date again? Lets find out:
The Difference Between Dating & Relationships
There a missing factor when dating, there is no emotional commitment. There might be feelings like nervousness and attraction but that’s about it. Dating is kind of like practice so there really isn’t any closure required.
When comparing dating to a relationship it’s like comparing a ride in a canoe to one on a cruise ship. There is a whole lot more to a relationship especially when you have 100% of your love, your dreams and your future plans involved.
You invest so much in a relationship, and the closure process comes in the form of getting back the control of your love, your dreams and your future visions. Unless we have back command of these pieces we will find it very difficult to start the process of a happy future with someone new.
This Is The Frustrating Part
Lets just say you find another, they have the looks that you like, they are funny, they have manners and they smell good. What sucks is if you are not in control of your feelings from your last relationship this new one doesn’t have a chance.
I know this may not be what some folks in that place in their lives want to hear but the thing to do is to put things off until you are able to get to that place with your ex that you can move on without them in your life. Until then forget about any new relationships.
Does this mean if a relationship is out of the question you shouldn’t date? No, in fact some find dating again can help them get their hearts, their hopes and the plans back and own them once again.
Getting Back Your Emotions
Here are the facts: When talking about dating, closure is not a must but to achieve a successful long term relationship closure is a must. The investment in time and energy to get a handle on your emotions will pay you back for a long time. Because it’s not fair to you or the other person, know matter how good they smell.
It might be one of the scariest things you have ever had to do, but taking control of your emotions is well worth it. You need to take a step back and look at the big picture, your happiness in the future, no matter how hard it is to get there.
There are times when it’s not the right answer to seek closure and move on. If you’re still in love with your ex you don’t have to move on until you’re ready to. You can get your ex back I can show you how. The Make Up Plan
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